Ok, how upset am I? I'll tell you - VERY UPSET.
Jimmy Buffett is playing IN PARIS, AT A JAZZ CLUB (New Morning) in September and I cannot go! I will be in Marietta and Cincinnati, Ohio for an alumni advisory council meeting at Marietta College and visiting family, respectively. Sure, tickets are sold out, but you can get them from brokers and such.
Unbelievable.
Let's just hope he comes back and plays in 2009 when I'm there.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Oh Canada
Am back from holiday and have posted some pictures on Flickr.
The 10 days away were good, but it wasn't the best week in Canada. Mainly, it was due to the weather - cool, cloudy, and rainy. Only 2-1/2 days of pure sunshine I'd say. And, none of the rain resulted in a huge, hail throwing, thunder crashing, wave rolling storm like we love to watch! Having four adults, 2 Pomeranian dogs (small dogs), and an active 14-month old couped up inside isn't exactly the perfect formula for pure relaxation. Fun, yes, but peaceful, not so much.
The 10 days away were good, but it wasn't the best week in Canada. Mainly, it was due to the weather - cool, cloudy, and rainy. Only 2-1/2 days of pure sunshine I'd say. And, none of the rain resulted in a huge, hail throwing, thunder crashing, wave rolling storm like we love to watch! Having four adults, 2 Pomeranian dogs (small dogs), and an active 14-month old couped up inside isn't exactly the perfect formula for pure relaxation. Fun, yes, but peaceful, not so much.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Holiday
It’s so weird to be getting ready to go on holiday to Canada but via airplane instead of car. I’m not nearly as stressed about it. Very weird. Usually I’m making sure my car is in working order, full tank of gas, I have my maps and toll money, I’ve mapped out which service plazas on the NY Thruway have Starbucks, I have my CDs and discman and iPod ready for the drive (yes, my car has a tape deck), and my packing is a bit more sporadic as I can take any number of bags I like, and any size containers of liquids or gels. I don’t have to go to bed by 9 p.m. to be ready for 8 hours of solitary driving and I don’t have to make sure my mobile phone hands-free device is all set once I’m in NY state.
Now, with flying, I’m just one of lemmings. I’ll get on the Tube, follow those orders, get off at the last stop, then follow the signs and orders at the airport. Someone else handles the bag, someone else does most everything. I just get on the plane and sit there for 8 hours. Definitely makes for a much much longer commute. Makes even the 11 hour drive from Ohio seem short!
The view
My niece at 2 months old (2007)
Now, with flying, I’m just one of lemmings. I’ll get on the Tube, follow those orders, get off at the last stop, then follow the signs and orders at the airport. Someone else handles the bag, someone else does most everything. I just get on the plane and sit there for 8 hours. Definitely makes for a much much longer commute. Makes even the 11 hour drive from Ohio seem short!
The view
The Town (for Hay Day 2007)
My niece at 2 months old (2007)
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Photos on Flickr
Ok, I've now expanded my technology web even further and have joined Flickr for posting my photos. And, I'm utterly confused.
It displays my photos with 'most recently uploaded' first, even though I don't want them that way (my Greenwich shots are in reverse order). I need to figure that out, and the eight gazillion other things that Flickr has - public/private, sets and collections, profiles, copyrights, etc.
Enjoy.
It displays my photos with 'most recently uploaded' first, even though I don't want them that way (my Greenwich shots are in reverse order). I need to figure that out, and the eight gazillion other things that Flickr has - public/private, sets and collections, profiles, copyrights, etc.
Enjoy.
Only Time Will Tell
Maybe I’m just thinking it because it’s the first exploration I’ve done “outside” London since I’ve been here, but I don’t think so. Greenwich really is a gem. Being SE of London, just south of Canary Wharf, it isn’t on the whirlwind tourist’s agenda, but it should be. As the Blue Guide, City Guide London says, “If it is less ‘royal’ than Hampton Court or Windsor, it has finer architecture; if it is less central than Westminster, it is nobler; and the view of the assembly of buildings from across the river…stays with you for life.”
I got a somewhat late start due to the fact that I wanted to sleep in because of my cold. I got off the DLR at Island Gardens and walked toward the Thames and there I got my first, breathtaking, view across the river of Greenwich. The view is of the Royal Naval Hospital grounds with the Queen’s House in the distant middle, and up on the hill is the Old Royal Observatory. It truly does look majestic and well laid out on the banks of the Thames.
I took the foot tunnel – only one of two that go under the Thames – and walked and ended up on the other side, right next to the ship the Cutty Sark, which is closed for repairs. I walked through the old Royal Naval Hospital, taking pictures of the views, which were enhanced by the ominous sky. I went in to see the ‘Painted Room’ and the ‘Chapel’, both of which were elegant yet a bit overdone. I then proceeded to what is a ‘must see’ if you are in London – the National Maritime Museum and the Queen’s House.
The NMM is sort of well laid out, but what I liked is that it wasn’t crammed with artifacts and such. There is space inside, and a lot of natural light. Very welcoming. And, good gift shop.
The Queen’s House was nice because it had a Flemish & Dutch Masters exhibit “Turmoil and Tranquility” – all drawings of the ocean. Unfortunately, I breezed through this as it wasn’t air conditioned (or if it was, I didn’t notice) and my internal thermometer was all screwed up because of my cold. (You know how it is, when you have a cold and you get the sweats one minute and chills the next?)
The Royal Observatory complex wasn’t nearly as well laid out as the NMM – and here, I think they were trying to cram as much as they could into the very limited space they had. The walkways to get from exhibit to exhibit weren’t well marked – you could easily miss half of what is on display. And, what is on display is truly unique. If you’re read the (excellent) book Longitude by Dava Sobel, you know what I mean. All four of John Harrison’s clocks are on display. There are many different types of time pieces for perusal as well.
The Prime Meridian is a bit weird – while you are in Greenwich, you cross it multiple times (I cross it every day), but it is just at the Observatory that you can get in the queue and have your picture taken with one foot in each hemisphere. It is quite nice that there is a queue instead of everyone elbowing each other for their photo op. However, walking through the grounds to get to that point, you pass two of the historical GMT lines and on your way out, you pass the actual GMT line on the inside of the building, instead of outside. None’s taking pictures there. And, weirdly, when I took a picture (several) of the GMT digital clock, the digital images really don’t show up – must be some sort of crazy timekeeping technology thing.
The best part of the Observatory is the view of London. Yes, it seems far away and you cannot really see any tourist sites, but I think that’s the charm. You haven’t left the Greater London area, yet you fell as if you did. And, the Café is quite nice with really good views of the park. And, it is nicer, I think, than the Café on the grounds of the park.
Lastly, I wandered through the park and saw the Rose Garden – which, in pictures, looks similar to the flower garden thing in Niagara, Ontario (which is a drive from the falls, and bit of a tourist trap, although the flowers are beautiful and it is a large amount of them). As you can see from the photos I posted, roses really are different. I (stupidly I know) thought a ‘rose is a rose’, but from the photos, they are different.
Greenwich is a great place – young and old alike – great parks, views of London, easy to get to, National Maritime Museum, Royal Observatory (for GMT and astronomy), and the Naval Hospital.
One last point - the Royal Observatory - as you can see from my pictures, there is a red ball on top of the main building. This is raised every day at 12:55 and dropped at 13:00 so ships in the Thames can set their clocks (lots of interesting history with this, why GMT is in London, etc.). But, I must point out that I think this red ball looks surprisingly like the Rambaldi creastion from Alias that caused so much havoc.
I got a somewhat late start due to the fact that I wanted to sleep in because of my cold. I got off the DLR at Island Gardens and walked toward the Thames and there I got my first, breathtaking, view across the river of Greenwich. The view is of the Royal Naval Hospital grounds with the Queen’s House in the distant middle, and up on the hill is the Old Royal Observatory. It truly does look majestic and well laid out on the banks of the Thames.
I took the foot tunnel – only one of two that go under the Thames – and walked and ended up on the other side, right next to the ship the Cutty Sark, which is closed for repairs. I walked through the old Royal Naval Hospital, taking pictures of the views, which were enhanced by the ominous sky. I went in to see the ‘Painted Room’ and the ‘Chapel’, both of which were elegant yet a bit overdone. I then proceeded to what is a ‘must see’ if you are in London – the National Maritime Museum and the Queen’s House.
The NMM is sort of well laid out, but what I liked is that it wasn’t crammed with artifacts and such. There is space inside, and a lot of natural light. Very welcoming. And, good gift shop.
The Queen’s House was nice because it had a Flemish & Dutch Masters exhibit “Turmoil and Tranquility” – all drawings of the ocean. Unfortunately, I breezed through this as it wasn’t air conditioned (or if it was, I didn’t notice) and my internal thermometer was all screwed up because of my cold. (You know how it is, when you have a cold and you get the sweats one minute and chills the next?)
The Royal Observatory complex wasn’t nearly as well laid out as the NMM – and here, I think they were trying to cram as much as they could into the very limited space they had. The walkways to get from exhibit to exhibit weren’t well marked – you could easily miss half of what is on display. And, what is on display is truly unique. If you’re read the (excellent) book Longitude by Dava Sobel, you know what I mean. All four of John Harrison’s clocks are on display. There are many different types of time pieces for perusal as well.
The Prime Meridian is a bit weird – while you are in Greenwich, you cross it multiple times (I cross it every day), but it is just at the Observatory that you can get in the queue and have your picture taken with one foot in each hemisphere. It is quite nice that there is a queue instead of everyone elbowing each other for their photo op. However, walking through the grounds to get to that point, you pass two of the historical GMT lines and on your way out, you pass the actual GMT line on the inside of the building, instead of outside. None’s taking pictures there. And, weirdly, when I took a picture (several) of the GMT digital clock, the digital images really don’t show up – must be some sort of crazy timekeeping technology thing.
The best part of the Observatory is the view of London. Yes, it seems far away and you cannot really see any tourist sites, but I think that’s the charm. You haven’t left the Greater London area, yet you fell as if you did. And, the Café is quite nice with really good views of the park. And, it is nicer, I think, than the Café on the grounds of the park.
Lastly, I wandered through the park and saw the Rose Garden – which, in pictures, looks similar to the flower garden thing in Niagara, Ontario (which is a drive from the falls, and bit of a tourist trap, although the flowers are beautiful and it is a large amount of them). As you can see from the photos I posted, roses really are different. I (stupidly I know) thought a ‘rose is a rose’, but from the photos, they are different.
Greenwich is a great place – young and old alike – great parks, views of London, easy to get to, National Maritime Museum, Royal Observatory (for GMT and astronomy), and the Naval Hospital.
One last point - the Royal Observatory - as you can see from my pictures, there is a red ball on top of the main building. This is raised every day at 12:55 and dropped at 13:00 so ships in the Thames can set their clocks (lots of interesting history with this, why GMT is in London, etc.). But, I must point out that I think this red ball looks surprisingly like the Rambaldi creastion from Alias that caused so much havoc.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Love in the Library
The third reason I haven’t posted as much is twofold: work and tourism. First of all, I am amazed by people who have full time jobs, social lives, etc. and still find time to post frequently. How do you do it? I find that getting up at 5:30, going to work for 7:30/8:00 until 17:30/18:00, and then coming home to relax and have dinner, takes up most of my time. Plus, one of the last things I want to do at home at the end of the day is sit in front of my laptop because I’ve been sitting in front of it all day long. And, no, I really cannot / should not post while at work because, well, I’m at work.
The other more exciting reason is that I’ve been trying to get out and about in London. Basically all I’ve done thus far is quite superficial – just walking around, looking at and taking pictures of the outsides of places. I just haven’t been able to motivate myself to get on a train and do a day trip outside the city. I want to sleep in on Sat and Sun, I have to do laundry, clean, etc. Plus, I now have a cold. Figures.
Anyway, the “new” things I’ve done (that is, things I’ve seen that I hadn’t seen when visiting London in 1995 or 1997) are the British Library and the town of Greenwich.
The British Library is fascinating – sure, it’s like any other library in that it’s freakishly quiet and a bit unwelcoming because of its extreme quietness – I don’t know, I just always have a fear I’ll go through some door I’m not supposed to or bother someone or something. The Sir John Ritblat Gallery is an amazing treasure trove of history. It includes things such as Shakespeare’s first folio (1623), Jane Austen’s handwritten correspondence, an original copy of Beowulf, original scores by Handel and Mozart, The Golden Haggadah, The Gutenberg Bible (1455), dozens of sacred texts and map, and the Magna Carta (1215). Plus, in the middle of the entire library, encased in glass, stretching six floors, is King George III’s Library. And, there is the British Library Sound Archive.
The library is huge, including over 150 million items, stored on over 625 km of shelves. At the main library, users do not have direct access – you have to have a reading card and then request books – it takes 70 minutes to retrieve something on site! In the Reading Rooms you cannot have coats or bags, no pens or highlighters, no sharp object, no food or drink, and no cameras. They seem to take their book collection seriously.
As I’m typing this, part of me thinks that these historic papers and sheer volume of books are just so cool, to be able to see the handwriting or read the author’s own comments or see the musicians’ scribbles and to appreciate them for what they are – amazing pieces of artwork, or first of their kind publications. The British Library was founded “on the belief that collecting world knowledge and making it available for investigation generates new ideas and advances society.” But if one reads 5 items/day, it would take 80,000 years to get through the library’s collections. So isn’t this a bit of information overload? And who has the time to do this?
Then part of me wonders why we take such pains to save all this and worship it? I mean, people used to write hundreds of letters – the famous and the non – all expressing thoughts and desires. Why are only the famous people’s letters important? What will happen in 300 years? Will the Ritblat gallery have printouts of emails or blog pages? Will we just stare at old computers and marvel at those the same way we do a Gutenberg Bible?
Posting of my tourist walking pictures and about the great town of Greenwich later, once I figure out how to use Flickr and have a link to it from my blog (as Tiggs does), and after I get a cuppa tea to assuage my sore throat and dual ear aches.
The other more exciting reason is that I’ve been trying to get out and about in London. Basically all I’ve done thus far is quite superficial – just walking around, looking at and taking pictures of the outsides of places. I just haven’t been able to motivate myself to get on a train and do a day trip outside the city. I want to sleep in on Sat and Sun, I have to do laundry, clean, etc. Plus, I now have a cold. Figures.
Anyway, the “new” things I’ve done (that is, things I’ve seen that I hadn’t seen when visiting London in 1995 or 1997) are the British Library and the town of Greenwich.
The British Library is fascinating – sure, it’s like any other library in that it’s freakishly quiet and a bit unwelcoming because of its extreme quietness – I don’t know, I just always have a fear I’ll go through some door I’m not supposed to or bother someone or something. The Sir John Ritblat Gallery is an amazing treasure trove of history. It includes things such as Shakespeare’s first folio (1623), Jane Austen’s handwritten correspondence, an original copy of Beowulf, original scores by Handel and Mozart, The Golden Haggadah, The Gutenberg Bible (1455), dozens of sacred texts and map, and the Magna Carta (1215). Plus, in the middle of the entire library, encased in glass, stretching six floors, is King George III’s Library. And, there is the British Library Sound Archive.
The library is huge, including over 150 million items, stored on over 625 km of shelves. At the main library, users do not have direct access – you have to have a reading card and then request books – it takes 70 minutes to retrieve something on site! In the Reading Rooms you cannot have coats or bags, no pens or highlighters, no sharp object, no food or drink, and no cameras. They seem to take their book collection seriously.
As I’m typing this, part of me thinks that these historic papers and sheer volume of books are just so cool, to be able to see the handwriting or read the author’s own comments or see the musicians’ scribbles and to appreciate them for what they are – amazing pieces of artwork, or first of their kind publications. The British Library was founded “on the belief that collecting world knowledge and making it available for investigation generates new ideas and advances society.” But if one reads 5 items/day, it would take 80,000 years to get through the library’s collections. So isn’t this a bit of information overload? And who has the time to do this?
Then part of me wonders why we take such pains to save all this and worship it? I mean, people used to write hundreds of letters – the famous and the non – all expressing thoughts and desires. Why are only the famous people’s letters important? What will happen in 300 years? Will the Ritblat gallery have printouts of emails or blog pages? Will we just stare at old computers and marvel at those the same way we do a Gutenberg Bible?
Posting of my tourist walking pictures and about the great town of Greenwich later, once I figure out how to use Flickr and have a link to it from my blog (as Tiggs does), and after I get a cuppa tea to assuage my sore throat and dual ear aches.
57 Channels (And Nothin' On)
Another reason I haven’t blogged much, especially the past week - Television. After six years, I now have a TV, and I got cable TV July 3rd. Needless to say, I’ve become enthralled with the moving pictures and voices in the big black box. Not that I’m becoming a better person for this, quite the contrary. I’m only watching reruns of Ally McBeal and CSI. I could choose from any number of US reruns to commandeer my free time – from Scrubs to Frasier to Simpsons to every CSI and Law & Order to Ally McBeal to Friends to Sex and the City and so forth. And that’s just the shows I recognize. Of course, there’s all the British stuff (but honestly, I haven’t been that enthralled with what I’ve seen). I have discovered that when you watch one or two episodes of a show every night, you start to realize just how formulaic each series is. When they’re only one once per week, you don’t quite notice it.
I do get TCM and TCM2 (it seems most channels here have a “2” – meaning if you missed a show, no worries, it’ll be on an hour later). Last night I watched the Cole Porter musical “High Society” (1956) with Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Grace Kelly, and Louis Armstrong on music. It was good – at least something different.
The ironic part about having a TV and cable is that on Monday, July 7th, the daily devotional from the United Church of Christ (UCC) happened to be written by Quinn Caldwell, the Associate Pastor at Old South – and it was about TV. Using Romans 1:18-23, he wrote:
“Have you ever waited all week long for the next episode of your favorite TV show, your excitement building day by day until finally, heart going pitter-pat, you sit down to see what will happen next? Ever felt that way about church? ...
“Look, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty here; I think most of us are like this. But it's a legitimate question. Why don't most of us--even the churchgoers--get as excited about God as we do about Carrie Bradshaw?
“At least some of the time, the problem is with the church, maybe more than any of us wants to admit. But I think the real issue is this: TV seeks to give us exactly what we want, when we want it, and so elicits an excitement and devotion that almost nothing else can…
“God, on the other hand, seeks our devotion not by giving us what we want, but what we need: redemption, repentance, salvation. Which, God forgive us, is less riveting than The Wire, and significantly less funny than The Simpsons.
“Don't get me wrong; there's nothing wrong with watching TV. It's just that it's nowhere near as right as worshiping God.”
Amen!
I do get TCM and TCM2 (it seems most channels here have a “2” – meaning if you missed a show, no worries, it’ll be on an hour later). Last night I watched the Cole Porter musical “High Society” (1956) with Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Grace Kelly, and Louis Armstrong on music. It was good – at least something different.
The ironic part about having a TV and cable is that on Monday, July 7th, the daily devotional from the United Church of Christ (UCC) happened to be written by Quinn Caldwell, the Associate Pastor at Old South – and it was about TV. Using Romans 1:18-23, he wrote:
“Have you ever waited all week long for the next episode of your favorite TV show, your excitement building day by day until finally, heart going pitter-pat, you sit down to see what will happen next? Ever felt that way about church? ...
“Look, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty here; I think most of us are like this. But it's a legitimate question. Why don't most of us--even the churchgoers--get as excited about God as we do about Carrie Bradshaw?
“At least some of the time, the problem is with the church, maybe more than any of us wants to admit. But I think the real issue is this: TV seeks to give us exactly what we want, when we want it, and so elicits an excitement and devotion that almost nothing else can…
“God, on the other hand, seeks our devotion not by giving us what we want, but what we need: redemption, repentance, salvation. Which, God forgive us, is less riveting than The Wire, and significantly less funny than The Simpsons.
“Don't get me wrong; there's nothing wrong with watching TV. It's just that it's nowhere near as right as worshiping God.”
Amen!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Horses
Imagine my surprise one day earlier this week when I got off the Tube at work around 7:30 and came up the steps to the street to hear the clipity-clop of horses. I stopped and looked and no joke, about 30-50 horses were being ridden down Oxford Street. Three across with a woman on the middle horse. Very weird. Never mind the cabs or the buses trying to get down the street. Sure, it wasn't really rush hour (most pastry / coffee shops don't open until 7:30 a.m., if that gives you a clue what time things get busy) but come on!
Happily Ever After (Now & Then)
You’re probably wondering where I’ve been for the past week (well, hopefully you are!). And really, I have several good excuses which I will proceed to post about today and this weekend (in no particular order: culture shock, television, and tourism).
First up, culture shock.
I think I’m in phase 2, or maybe 3, of culture shock* - the I-hate-everything or I’ll-put-up-with-it-because-I-have-to phases respectively. Several things are annoying me and otherwise, I’m just a bit complacent / blasé about being here.
(*I am referring to an article by Kay Clifford from University of Michigan (at least I think it was her) – a summary is here . I have to give kudos to Professor Barbara MacHaffie at Marietta College. She was my Freshman Seminar advisor and while I cannot remember what the theme of my Seminar class was, I think I reference the culture shock article monthly. I read that 13 years ago and I still remember it, use it, and find it relevant!)
This whole week I’ve been feeling very uncertain / not at ease with what I’m doing at work. It’s just that I’m not 100% sure what it is I’m supposed to be doing, and whenever I am given direction, or come up with it on my own, I soon discover that the focus has shifted and what was once important no longer is.
Also, I think all of us at work are just a bit over stressed and uncertain about or futures due to the GDF SUEZ merger. I think 95% of us in the Operations team (Logistics, Trading, Shipping, Portfolio) have each other’s best interests at heart and are working for the good of the team, company and each other. But that 5%.... It’s difficult to keep spirits up and be ‘normal’ when no one knows for sure what his/her new job description will be (will there be enough responsibility, is it a good career move, etc.) nor when he/she is expected to move (Sept, Oct, Jan, not defined, etc.) Adding these uncertainties to each person’s already quirky personalities is a bit much.
Earlier this week at work, the Lucinda Williams song “Are You Alright” came on my iPod. (Link here for lyrics and video with audio.) Whenever this song comes on, it always gives me pause and makes me think. The lyrics are just so haunting – the beat, the constant questioning “are you alright?” just make me think. “Are you alright? All of a sudden you went away…Are you alright? Is there somethin’ been botherin’ you?” Even now, when I found the link for the lyrics and video, I couldn't keep typing or surfing, I just had to stop and listen.
I think the major thing that’s bothering me is that I have no friends or acquaintances or mentors or anyone in London except my coworkers. And, even then, I really only socialize with 2-3 of them. Makes for a very small circle. I am missing having non-work related people in my life! I think that's really getting to me. Sure, I can complain about people or tasks to coworkers, but they have their own complaints, and it’s just not good to be gossipy or whiny like that in an office of Type A Personality Over Achievers. You don’t realize until it’s gone how good it is to (1) be able to vent to friends just for reason of venting; (2) have friends who will agree with you just because you're friends; (3) have friends who will give you advice based upon what they know of you, not what they think is best for the company / you in the company; (4) listen to your friends vent about their jobs because their venting can lend insight into your own issues; (5) I'm sure I could go on...
I contemplated not posting any of this, thinking ‘why would I want to post anything about my insecurities, worries, etc.’ but part of me just needs to vent this, and part of me realizes that if I don’t post it, I’ll be presenting a false picture of myself. I’m reminded of two things – one is the Jimmy Buffett song from the Banana Wind album that goes "Some people never find it, some only pretend; But me, I just want to live happily ever after, Every now and then."
The other is from the movie You’ve Got Mail, where Meg Ryan’s character expresses some of her concerns and sadness, typing (thank you IMDB): "Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void."
I’d be a fool if I thought life was happy-go-lucky all the time and I have to remind myself that it’s ok if it’s not. Good night.
First up, culture shock.
I think I’m in phase 2, or maybe 3, of culture shock* - the I-hate-everything or I’ll-put-up-with-it-because-I-have-to phases respectively. Several things are annoying me and otherwise, I’m just a bit complacent / blasé about being here.
(*I am referring to an article by Kay Clifford from University of Michigan (at least I think it was her) – a summary is here . I have to give kudos to Professor Barbara MacHaffie at Marietta College. She was my Freshman Seminar advisor and while I cannot remember what the theme of my Seminar class was, I think I reference the culture shock article monthly. I read that 13 years ago and I still remember it, use it, and find it relevant!)
This whole week I’ve been feeling very uncertain / not at ease with what I’m doing at work. It’s just that I’m not 100% sure what it is I’m supposed to be doing, and whenever I am given direction, or come up with it on my own, I soon discover that the focus has shifted and what was once important no longer is.
Also, I think all of us at work are just a bit over stressed and uncertain about or futures due to the GDF SUEZ merger. I think 95% of us in the Operations team (Logistics, Trading, Shipping, Portfolio) have each other’s best interests at heart and are working for the good of the team, company and each other. But that 5%.... It’s difficult to keep spirits up and be ‘normal’ when no one knows for sure what his/her new job description will be (will there be enough responsibility, is it a good career move, etc.) nor when he/she is expected to move (Sept, Oct, Jan, not defined, etc.) Adding these uncertainties to each person’s already quirky personalities is a bit much.
Earlier this week at work, the Lucinda Williams song “Are You Alright” came on my iPod. (Link here for lyrics and video with audio.) Whenever this song comes on, it always gives me pause and makes me think. The lyrics are just so haunting – the beat, the constant questioning “are you alright?” just make me think. “Are you alright? All of a sudden you went away…Are you alright? Is there somethin’ been botherin’ you?” Even now, when I found the link for the lyrics and video, I couldn't keep typing or surfing, I just had to stop and listen.
I think the major thing that’s bothering me is that I have no friends or acquaintances or mentors or anyone in London except my coworkers. And, even then, I really only socialize with 2-3 of them. Makes for a very small circle. I am missing having non-work related people in my life! I think that's really getting to me. Sure, I can complain about people or tasks to coworkers, but they have their own complaints, and it’s just not good to be gossipy or whiny like that in an office of Type A Personality Over Achievers. You don’t realize until it’s gone how good it is to (1) be able to vent to friends just for reason of venting; (2) have friends who will agree with you just because you're friends; (3) have friends who will give you advice based upon what they know of you, not what they think is best for the company / you in the company; (4) listen to your friends vent about their jobs because their venting can lend insight into your own issues; (5) I'm sure I could go on...
I contemplated not posting any of this, thinking ‘why would I want to post anything about my insecurities, worries, etc.’ but part of me just needs to vent this, and part of me realizes that if I don’t post it, I’ll be presenting a false picture of myself. I’m reminded of two things – one is the Jimmy Buffett song from the Banana Wind album that goes "Some people never find it, some only pretend; But me, I just want to live happily ever after, Every now and then."
The other is from the movie You’ve Got Mail, where Meg Ryan’s character expresses some of her concerns and sadness, typing (thank you IMDB): "Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void."
I’d be a fool if I thought life was happy-go-lucky all the time and I have to remind myself that it’s ok if it’s not. Good night.
Weather With You
Well, I tried to get culture tonight, but got rained out. Gwen & her visiting friend, Marissa & her visiting mother and her visiting friend and I all went to the open air theatre in Regent’s Park to see Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night. (And why is there an F in twelfth, that just doesn't seem right.) Sounds lovely and cultured, right? The park is beautiful – with a decent sized pond, amazing flowers and landscaping, and great walkways.
The theatre is open air and very charming, but when it isn’t even 55F outside (I swear I saw my breath a few times), and windy and rainy, the charm slowly fades. It actually felt like being at a Red Sox game in April. Everyone bundled up, huddled under umbrellas, braving the rain hoping that the game (show) will continue. What I can’t figure out though is why they would have non water resistant cushions on all the seats? This is London. It rains a lot (supposedly – this was the fist week of bad weather since I moved here).
But, the rain continued so the show was cancelled about 20-30 minutes into it. At least we can exchange our tickets for a future show. And a good thing, too, as I just couldn’t concentrate enough to follow all the dialogue. I know the story line because I looked up a summary online, but I just couldn’t follow the lines.
The best part of the evening was waiting for Marissa at the Tube stop. Gwen, her friend & I were outside and saw, no joke, 75-100 old white men walking by at various intervals, no more than two together, more often alone, in blazers with orange/yellow striped ties. Truly bizarre. None seemed to have wedding bands, were all a bit disheveled, more of the 'crazy professor' type than businessman. A few had gigantic umbrellas with MCC on them - turns out, they were all from the Lord's Cricket Ground just up the road. Explainable, but still weird.
The theatre is open air and very charming, but when it isn’t even 55F outside (I swear I saw my breath a few times), and windy and rainy, the charm slowly fades. It actually felt like being at a Red Sox game in April. Everyone bundled up, huddled under umbrellas, braving the rain hoping that the game (show) will continue. What I can’t figure out though is why they would have non water resistant cushions on all the seats? This is London. It rains a lot (supposedly – this was the fist week of bad weather since I moved here).
But, the rain continued so the show was cancelled about 20-30 minutes into it. At least we can exchange our tickets for a future show. And a good thing, too, as I just couldn’t concentrate enough to follow all the dialogue. I know the story line because I looked up a summary online, but I just couldn’t follow the lines.
The best part of the evening was waiting for Marissa at the Tube stop. Gwen, her friend & I were outside and saw, no joke, 75-100 old white men walking by at various intervals, no more than two together, more often alone, in blazers with orange/yellow striped ties. Truly bizarre. None seemed to have wedding bands, were all a bit disheveled, more of the 'crazy professor' type than businessman. A few had gigantic umbrellas with MCC on them - turns out, they were all from the Lord's Cricket Ground just up the road. Explainable, but still weird.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Americana
Happy 4th of July!!!
I'm spending the day at work, but will do tourist stuff this weekend. My friend Angela is in town this weekend (today until Sunday a.m.) (she and I were both on XO House Corps at Tufts in Boston) - she's interning in the JAG program at a military base outside Frankfurt and thus has today off (her blog link is on the right - she's done lots of travelling!). She's out being a tourist today while I'm at work.
It's not weird at all to be working on the 4th because you don't even really realize it's the 4th of July, other than a date on the calendar. No signs, no sales, no parties, etc. mentioned. Maybe there is mention in the Metro (free "news"paper), but I don't read that. I'm not really in an ex-pat community, so no one's having bbqs or anything (actually, I'm not really in any community at all!).
I'm spending the day at work, but will do tourist stuff this weekend. My friend Angela is in town this weekend (today until Sunday a.m.) (she and I were both on XO House Corps at Tufts in Boston) - she's interning in the JAG program at a military base outside Frankfurt and thus has today off (her blog link is on the right - she's done lots of travelling!). She's out being a tourist today while I'm at work.
It's not weird at all to be working on the 4th because you don't even really realize it's the 4th of July, other than a date on the calendar. No signs, no sales, no parties, etc. mentioned. Maybe there is mention in the Metro (free "news"paper), but I don't read that. I'm not really in an ex-pat community, so no one's having bbqs or anything (actually, I'm not really in any community at all!).
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Laundry
Why is doing laundry in other countries always so complicated? When discussing laundry, I’m always reminded of Seinfeld’s stand-up piece about clothing (dry-cleaning) on “I’m Telling You for the Last Time”. He basically says that the “dry clean only” label in clothes is “the only warning label human beings do respect.” … ‘Cigarettes – it’ll give you cancer, emphysema, definitely kill you, babies, everything – screw it, I’ll do whatever the hell I want! Don’t take this medicine and operate heavy machine – who cares, glug glug glug, that’s for beginners…I’ve been working on this job for twenty years! But, try to put something with a dry-clean only label in the washing machine and people yell “are you crazy, are you out of your mind?!’
When I was staying with Gwen my first month here, she told me exactly what settings to use on her washer, so everything was fine. However, when left to my own devices in my own flat with my washer, which is slightly different from hers, things were not so simple. At least I was smart enough to begin with a “test load” of just socks, underwear, and a pair of jeans. But really, does laundry need to wash and spin for 2h40m? And does it need to be at 65°C?
I have been doing my own laundry for 13 years now and all my clothes have always been the same color, shape and size coming out of the machine as they were when I put them in – even when I was in the Netherlands, Geneva, and China. But these poor socks and underwear are all a nice shade of either pink or grey. Blasted one pair of red socks that I’ve washed several times before with no issue, decided to spread their color to their friends.
I finally got up the courage to do another load of laundry, after spending quite some time studying the one page chart of the different wash settings (there are about 10-15 of them, with options for the spin cycle, pre-wash, delay wash, etc.) This time, I figured I’d play it safe and only wash things that were pure white. Success! Actually, more than success – my whites have never been so white. Maybe there is hope for my foiled first load – perhaps those socks will once again be white? Here’s hoping… A few loads later, I seem to have the hang of it, at least I think I do. The black and dark navy clothes I washed last night came out still being black and dark navy (not grey or some lighter variation) and in the same size and shape.
The secret – I discovered the “handwash” cycle which is the ONLY coldwater wash cycle out of the 10+ options. (And, it’s the shortest – at a quick 1h03m wash/spin.) I’m not entirely sure how effective this “handwash” cycle is as the clothes don’t seem to be moved around much in there, meaning not rotated in the bin. Rather, they just seem to sit there and soak and rotate occasionally over the hour. Granted, all the soap is gone, so that must count for something. I figure if I smell, someone will tell me. But not on the Tube as it seems 7 out of 10 people smell on there, or have horrible breath, or some terrible combination.
Lastly (as I’m sure you cannot believe that I’ve already devoted five paragraphs to laundry), this machine is a small ‘one stop shop’ machine for washing and drying. The ‘regular’ size load that fits inside is about the US equivalent of a medium-small load. And the drying is not really drying but just a fan that blows air / sucks out the moisture, basically steaming the clothes. I just air dry everything. I think most people always have clothes lying about on drying racks, over railings, etc. You’re basically always doing laundry since the load sizes are so small, and due to the temperamental nature of the different wash cycles, you want to be sure you’ve separated your clothes appropriately. No wonder the majority of the women in the office wear all black – makes laundry much simpler.
When I was staying with Gwen my first month here, she told me exactly what settings to use on her washer, so everything was fine. However, when left to my own devices in my own flat with my washer, which is slightly different from hers, things were not so simple. At least I was smart enough to begin with a “test load” of just socks, underwear, and a pair of jeans. But really, does laundry need to wash and spin for 2h40m? And does it need to be at 65°C?
I have been doing my own laundry for 13 years now and all my clothes have always been the same color, shape and size coming out of the machine as they were when I put them in – even when I was in the Netherlands, Geneva, and China. But these poor socks and underwear are all a nice shade of either pink or grey. Blasted one pair of red socks that I’ve washed several times before with no issue, decided to spread their color to their friends.
I finally got up the courage to do another load of laundry, after spending quite some time studying the one page chart of the different wash settings (there are about 10-15 of them, with options for the spin cycle, pre-wash, delay wash, etc.) This time, I figured I’d play it safe and only wash things that were pure white. Success! Actually, more than success – my whites have never been so white. Maybe there is hope for my foiled first load – perhaps those socks will once again be white? Here’s hoping… A few loads later, I seem to have the hang of it, at least I think I do. The black and dark navy clothes I washed last night came out still being black and dark navy (not grey or some lighter variation) and in the same size and shape.
The secret – I discovered the “handwash” cycle which is the ONLY coldwater wash cycle out of the 10+ options. (And, it’s the shortest – at a quick 1h03m wash/spin.) I’m not entirely sure how effective this “handwash” cycle is as the clothes don’t seem to be moved around much in there, meaning not rotated in the bin. Rather, they just seem to sit there and soak and rotate occasionally over the hour. Granted, all the soap is gone, so that must count for something. I figure if I smell, someone will tell me. But not on the Tube as it seems 7 out of 10 people smell on there, or have horrible breath, or some terrible combination.
Lastly (as I’m sure you cannot believe that I’ve already devoted five paragraphs to laundry), this machine is a small ‘one stop shop’ machine for washing and drying. The ‘regular’ size load that fits inside is about the US equivalent of a medium-small load. And the drying is not really drying but just a fan that blows air / sucks out the moisture, basically steaming the clothes. I just air dry everything. I think most people always have clothes lying about on drying racks, over railings, etc. You’re basically always doing laundry since the load sizes are so small, and due to the temperamental nature of the different wash cycles, you want to be sure you’ve separated your clothes appropriately. No wonder the majority of the women in the office wear all black – makes laundry much simpler.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
21st Century
Amazingly enough, I now have internet at home! Wheee!!! Having my own internet at home is so unreal to me - I don't even know where to begin. Ok, I know, actually posting more here, which I will do tomorrow.
(And, the cable TV guy comes tomorrow to set that up for me - where does the fun end?)
(And, the cable TV guy comes tomorrow to set that up for me - where does the fun end?)
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