Leaders, Life & Purpose

Two Fridays ago I went to listen to a speaker that was sponsored by Leaders, Life and Purpose (I went to an event sponsored by LLP back in October). The main draw of the speech was that it was being held at the US Ambassador’s residence - of course I wanted to see the inside!

The lesser draw was that I have been craving ‘deep, meaningful’ conversation that is NOT about work. I had such a great community in Boston through church, friends, and other social organisations, that I was never lacking for challenging thought, questioning beliefs, and social interaction outside the office. Paris is a different story. I basically live work 100% as my social network consists of only a few colleagues and bell choir rehearsal two hours per week.

The speech Failure in Success? Success in Failure? that was being given by Jonathan Aitken seemed like a good way to have a bit of a life outside the office, even if the title didn’t really ‘capture’ me. But this line in the invitation email did : ‘... with glimpses from his own colorful career as a U.K. Cabinet Minister, Member of Parliament, and ex-prisoner and his experience rebuilding a life after prison, bankruptcy, and divorce.’

As we sat down to the dining table that comfortably fit 30, having a light breakfast, Aitken began his remarks. At first I thought I’d be able to remember the 2-3 points that struck me, soon I had pen and paper out writing down all sorts of things and have been thinking about all he said since then.

Such as :

--CS Lewis said Pride is the greatest sin ; Aitken agrees. ... So then I started thinking about pride, if I have it, who else has it, what I think of it, etc. I have no answers yet, but welcome discussion.

--and that pride is not the same thing as ambition, being driven or having energy

--Denial : Aitken said people do not want to admit they are the cause of their own, or other peoples, problems. That a parent will admit the faults of the children are all due to society, or their children, and not recognising that they could be part of the problem ; and in opposite that parents will not admit their own problems, instead blaming society, unruly children, the economy, etc. ... This is more difficult because it means turning the pointing finger of blame back to myself, and helping others do the same.

--Being rooted : He asked what our roots are, what roots us, in terms of values. ...I have started to think, well what is a list of values? Which do I think are most important? Which do I have and are these different from those I want to have? This has been an interesting inner discussion as I realised I couldn’t name what values I cherish most. More posts to come on this as I discover my answers. Again, welcome discussion.

--Failure : he said he likes to ask people what is their greatest failure. ... And in my first internal reaction, I first thought of things work related. Then I was shocked as I realised I did not first think of a failure I had done to myself on a personal level ; nor how I may have failed my family, my friends, my faith, or society.

--’Pluses of pain’ : when he said this, I really liked it. ... Because so many of us wallow in our own self-pity whenever something goes wrong, and we rarely take the time to look at what good can come from it. And then it made me think about the title of the speech again : Failure in Success? Success in Failure? And how both of these statements can be true - if only we took the time to realise it. And that some success is just like a Pyrrhic Victory.

--He mentioned that one way to get closer to one’s faith, or if not faith, then personal growth, is through small groups - that the personal touch of these, the implied accountability, are important. ... So I’ve begun to search out a small group or two that I can join (book club, social event, etc.) Will keep you posted!

--Other things he mentioned, which I want to check out are : Psalms 130, 51 and 131 (during his time in jail, he devoured all he could on the Psalms and then went into Seminary and focused on them) and the Tom Houston book Public and Private Morality.

--His anecdotes of his time in prison were great - murderers and thieves, and him there on perjury. But that how he learned so much from these men, and they from him. And how a small group prayer/faith study formed almost accidentally. How all this shaped and changed him. It was great in contrast to Jeffrey Archer - another famous UK man who spent time in jail. Archer and Aitken were acquaintances and met after both were released from prison. Archer told Aitken that he learned nothing in jail, indignant that anyone could think he was guilty. ... Hmph!

--In the Q&A portion, one man said he had a similar ‘change in heart’ as Aitken had when he himself was in his 50s/60s, when he asked himself : ‘who will I be when I’m no longer driven by my insecurities and fear, and the need to please other people, and the need for recognition?’ ... Um, ok, wow. Lots to think about there - and I’m hoping my answers to this will come from my self-discovery on my own values.

What was refreshing was that Aitken went to jail at age 57 and then changed his entire outlook on life as a result. Now he uses his time and talents fighting for prison reform and social justice, advocating faith, and enabling positive change. So if he can change at 57, it’s not too late for any of us!

Looking back, this was exactly the type of thing I’ve been craving. Discussion on faith, values, business and politics. And Aitken is certainly good at speaking, quoting scripture, Shakespeare, Kissinger, CS Lewis, etc. A mental workout definitely.

I am glad I did not do research on Jonathan Aitken before going to hear him speak. I think if I had, I would not have respected him as much, or perhaps not listened with an open mind. The articles and his story/actions paint a pretty bleak picture of him. And I realise this is a failing on my part - that I likely would have pre-judged him, despite all the amazing work he has done since. If you do want to know more about him, you can find various articles on The Guardian’s website, or BBC, and of course Wikipedia.

Oh, and the Ambassador’s residence? WOW. The 2 rooms we saw were fantastic. Amazing artwork. The curtains were fabulous. The tassels holding them back were amazing works of art themselves. Originally built for a baroness in the mid 1800s, it was acquired by a Rothschild in 1876 and then sold to the US Government in 1948.